How are you doing?

I have been hearing that phrase a lot lately and I call it a phrase not a question for a reason. I don't think a lot of people that say it really mean it as a question it is more a statement just a phrase. Are you okay means, maybe I really don't want to know but I am making a statement by acting like I care, and maybe they do. But I don't think they really want to know the answer. Or maybe they are just expecting what everyone usually says. Like "fine" "okay" "hangin in there", but am I???!!!! No that's just what you say to someone that asks you that! Ugg.

Can't Describe These Feelings

I was there the day you took your last breath. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier to just find out like I did my brother, that you were just gone and that was it. But I know you did not want to be alone when you went.
I watched you struggle to breathe, it didn't even look like you. I wonder if you really would have wanted us all there watching you, just waiting for you to die. I don't really think you would have. But I know you didn't want to be alone so we were there. As hard as it was. I layed my head next to yours and told you it was ok to go. I love you. I love you. Those words I had only told you enough times to count with one hand. And why? Why were words so hard to say to you?
We watched on and I saw you slip away and suddenly our family of 5 turned to 3. I cried.